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Mexican
Food with Velvet Revolver
from
http://www.velvet-revolver.com
Their livers obliterated,
rock legends set out to destroy
their bowels
Super Tacos
Michoacan, North Hollywood, CA:
Round 1: Corn chips
FHM: Before
we get started, are any of you currently
on the lam?
Duff McKagan, bass:
No, not right now.
FHM: Phew. You
guys must have made a fortune playing
in Guns N' Roses and Stone Temple
Pilots. Why are we eating at some
low-rent taco stand?
Duff: We rehearse
around the corner from here. This
place is horrible. It'll kill you.
Matt Sorum, drums Anything could
happen. You could love it, or you
could die.
FHM: Have you
guys ever dusted your leathers with
brown salsa?
Duff: I've shit
my pants. I was at a music convention
in Chicago and I was too drunk to
give a fuck. I just went into the
bathroom and wiped it off.
Slash, guitar: It wasn't so much
of a stench.
Matt: I was in a limo once with
this hot little stripper. I said
to her, "Baby, I think I'm
feeling sick:" Then it just
came out like a scene from The Exorcist,
out of my mouth and my ass at the
same time. The stripper was so disgusted,
she was sick too.
FHM: Did you
still get to bang her?
Matt: Sure.
Round 2: Arguing in Mexican
FHM: What do
you guys usually order here?
Slash:
A taco, an enchilada and lots of
pickled jalapenos. But my favorite
tacos are the regular, cheap Taco
Bell tacos.
Dave Kushner, guitar: Hard-shell
tacos are a no-no. I'm Mexican;
hard shell tacos are very American.
They're for the weak.
Scott Weiland, singer: I prefer
carnitas. Slow-pulled pork, roasted
pork ones.
Matt: Good Mexican food is all about
the corn tortilla. It's got to be
done on the grill and it's got to
be two layers. The meat either has
to be a good carne asada or a good
pollo. And no fucking cheese and
shit on there.
Round 3: Quesadilla appetizers
FHM: The album's
called Contraband. What's the biggest
thing you've had wedged up your
ass?
Duff: Probably my old lady's finger.
Slash: Synthetic heroin in the form
of a suppository.
Scott: I put a couple of balloons
of heroin and a crack pipe up my
ass.
FHM: Why put
a crack pipe up your ass?
Scott: Cocaine paranoia. I was in
a suite at the Four Seasons in a
city I won't name. I was convinced
that secret agents were around;
that kind of thing comes with the
advanced stages of freebase smoking.
I didn't want to get rid of the
pipe, so I wrapped it in plastic
and "keistered" it. That's
the jail term for putting something
up your ass.
FHM: What is
a velvet revolver? Is it a cock?
Duff: It's whatever you might conjure
up. But there are some bad band
names out there. Pearl Jam is horrible.
Nirvana? There was a Nirvana in
every city. There was an Incubus
everywhere. Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard:
They're bad too.
Round 4: Tacos all around
FHM: Besides
eating these tacos, what's the most
dangerous thing you've ever done?
Duff:
I've OD'ed. I've stood on the edge
of Niagara Falls. My pancreas blew
up because I was drinking a gallon
of vodka a day. I could go on.
Matt: I hired a driver to take me
into the jungles near Caracas, Venezuela,
to score cocaine. He spoke no English
but he had a handlebar mustache.
Three days later, I woke up on the
balcony of some hotel room I had
no idea how I got to.
FHM: Dangerous.
You should carry a butterfly knife.
Matt: I have one. Keith Richards
is a butterfly-knife expert though.
FHM: Have you
partied with the master?
Matt: Not with him, but in his vicinity.
He mixed me a drink. It was nine
parts vodka and one part cranberry.
At the bar he was ordering two lack
and gingers at a time. I said, "Keith,
why order two drinks at once?"
He said, "In case I spill one."
Round 5: Burritos for six
FHM: Slash,
pass the salsa.
Slash:
I partied at the White House when
Clinton was in office. They had
a New Year's party and I snuck in
a case of Evian filled with vodka.
The party was raging. It was interesting
meeting his daughter while she was
partying hard.
FHM: Does this
whole band exist as a fuck you to
Axl?
Duff: No. It's our statement.
FHM: What do
you think about his botox-and-leather
look?
Matt: I'm not feeling it. And I
don't know what's going on with
the hair.
FHM: How many
albums will you release before Chinese
Democracy comes out?
Matt: Probably three.
Round 6: Pollo and hats
FHM: How long
can a man get away with wearing
a hat and leather pants?
Dave:
Forever. Look at Santa Claus. He's
fat, he wears leather boots and
he's got a hat.
FHM: Slash,
where's your famous top hat?
Duff: He only pimps the old hat
out for special occasions now. I
was the first one to experiment
with the top hat. Slash said, `Hey,
can I try that on?' It's the perfect
look for him and it keeps his hair
out of his eyes.
FHM: Where do
you buy those tiny belts for your
hats?
Slash: The first one was a Concho
belt I stole and cut with some scissors.
Concho belts are these Western belts
that go around things. Since then,
I've only had two made.
FHM: Thanks
for clearing that up.
Slash: Are these the things you
think about? I hate to think people
lie awake at night thinking about
where I get the little belts to
go around my hats.
from
http://www.velvet-revolver.com
Photography by
Zach Cordner (13); Hair and makeup
by Darin, Tatiana and John Blaine
for Exclusive Artists; Styling by
Cynthia A. Freund for Mercury Artist
Group.
from http://www.velvet-revolver.com
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